My guilty pleasure is reality television shows on VH1.  Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Rock of Love, Charm School, I Love Money, Confessions of a Teen Idol, Scott Baio, and all the various spin-offs… I watch all of it.  (Okay, so I didn’t watch Scream Queens, and I only kinda-sorta watched Miss Rap Supreme but just as background noise while doing other things.)

The latest addition to VH1’s reality show compendium is “Tool Academy.”  The basis of the show is that girlfriends secretly signed their jerk boyfriends up for “relationship camp.”

Here are some of the things the girlfriends have said about their boyfriends in the premiere episode interviews (emphasis is mine): 

• “He treats me like I don’t exist.”
• “He’s living off of my child support.  Tommy does not help me with any bills.”
• “Josh’s priorities are bowling, clubbing, [then me].”
• “It’s all about him.  He has no idea who I am or what I do.”
• “I do everything for him.  I clean, I do laundry.  I feel like he doesn’t like me anymore.”
• “I don’t know if I can really trust him.”
• “Robert makes me feel like I’m not good enough.”
• “I’m sick of vying for his attention all the time.”

On the flip side, here’s what the men had to say about their relationships and girlfriends:

• “I take home at least 14 chicks every single week.  I have my regular, my bottom bitch, that’s always been down for me for the past 9 years.”
• “I’ve trained Ashley very well.  She knows when to stay in line, which is all the time.”
• “I run her, for the most part.”

Why are these women sticking around for mistreatment?  What boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is worth your self-respect and self-esteem?  What relationship is worth public humiliation on national television?  What total douche bag boyfriend who is cheating on you and emotionally abusing you is worth it?

<crickets chirping>

But like I said, I love this stuff.  Tool on, VH1.  Tool on.