As I was designing his cards, I noticed he omitted a comma between his last name and “M.D.”  The comma really made the design work better, so I shot him an email to okay the change: Comma or no comma?

“Comma,” he replied.  He went on to say:

“As surprised as your are to see my name in your order listings, am I also to get such personalized service. I thought quite possibly you may have a company in India or Indonesia working for you and the whole production automated.”

I laughed out loud when I read this! I suppose I could farm orders out to … elsewhere … and I’m sure some other companies do, but Hi, Society! Design Studio doesn’t. And we never will.

I personally review, design, and perfect every order that comes in the door. Why?  Three reasons:

1. We value delivering both excellent products and customer service.
2. Because this isn’t some mega-corporation run by faceless names and nameless faces.
3. And because you deserve it.

The best thing about “90210″ is that the writers have continued the story lines from the original “Beverly Hills, 90210.”  Folks - women, mostly - my age (mid-20’s to early 30’s) remember watching the original BH90210 as pre/teens, and we’re still young enough to enjoy this new incarnation of the show.

I remember being 8 years old and rocking my nightshirt with Brandon and Dylan’s faces screenprinted on its front.  I had a Brenda doll that came with a Blossom-type hat and a little denim jacket.  I had the Dylan doll, too.  I don’t think I missed a single episode of BH90210 in the 10 years it was on the air.  My VCR was set to record it every week, just in case I should be out when it came on.  And you know what? I love this nostalgic feeling I get while watching the new series.

One thing I’ve wondered: Since they’ve continued the storyline, how did the producers explain casting Rob Estes as a main character in “90210″ when he played Kyle McBride for six years in the BH90210 spin-off “Melrose Place?”  I guess it would be way too weirdly existential for one spin-off to reference another spin-off, huh?  No danger there, I suppose.

In her piece, Ms. Hassler identifies several ways to identify toxic friends:

• You always feel crummy after you talk to him/her and guilty if you don’t talk to them
• He/she is really hard on you or judges you harshly
• You walk on egg shells around him/her
• He/she is very negative, depressed, and/or does not take care of herself/himself
• You find there is not much room for YOU in the relationship - it’s all about her/him
• You are incredibly bored, uninspired, stressed out, or unhappy in the relationship

I’ve broken up with friends, and I’ve been broken up with.  That’s life, right?

The Fairly Mutual Breakup: I had to break up with a friend in undergrad. She was always very negative, pessimistic, but I overlooked it because we found total hilarity in the people and situations that surrounded us. However, there came a point where everything I liked was “stupid,” according to her: music, sororities, television shows. I got tired of hearing this and told her, “If you think everything I like is stupid, we shouldn’t be friends anymore.” She agreed. We moved on.

Getting the Boot: So who broke up with me? A friend of 7 years - not the closest friend, not the furthest away from me. Over the past several years, I would see him perhaps twice a year with our group of friends and give/receive a phone call on the other’s birthday. I got the boot because his wife hates me (which I actually find to be quite funny), and she made him choose. Ultimatums are never fun, but the choice was obvious. C’est la vie. My only qualm with this breakup was that he didn’t tell me he couldn’t come out to play anymore. He just ignored my phone call for his birthday. Hey, more daytime minutes for me! That’s fine. Moving on.

Giving the Boot: I’ve broken up with two friends in my life. I’d known one since I was 13, and when I met him again when I was 20, he was obnoxious, loud, and I didn’t see what we had in common anymore. The Final Straw was a very random drunk-dial that contained things much better left unsaid - at least, better left unsaid while unsober. I told him I thought we’d grown apart and that we couldn’t be friends anymore.  (We’re friends again now, but only after about 5 or 6 years of not speaking. Everyone’s mellowed out, grown up, whatever. Great.)

The second friend, I dumped today. We’d been friends for nearly 6 years. I won’t get into the details of why, but let’s just say this friendship fell into several of the categories on Ms. Hassler’s list. Not only that, but several things that he said to me crossed some major lines I’d never considered, let alone ever defined. It’s only once those lines were crossed that I realized the lines even existed. It was clearly time to for me to move on. He doesn’t understand why I broke off this friendship, and I don’t feel the need to explain myself or my actions, despite being goaded to do so several times via text message.

Ms. Hassler ends by telling us, “Ultimately your peace of mind is up to you and living a clean, conscious life with healthy relationships supports that.”  And you know what?  She’s so right. Don’t be afraid to give toxic friends the boot out of your life. Do it for your own health.

Now, I’m pleased as punch to announce that the website for my design company - Element K Creative - is finally finished and live.  It took 4 months of planning, thinking about those plans, designing, thinking about those designs, getting constructive feedback from colleagues (thank you!), revisions, revisions, revisions, and execution, but it’s finally a reality.  And I couldn’t be more happy about it.  Check it out at http://www.elementkcreative.com.

Meanwhile, I’ve got several projects on the burners, including several new card designs for Hi, Society! Design Studio.  I’ll spill more details as we get closer to finalizing a release date.  And ummm… by “we,” I mean “me!”

Cheers!
Kendall

Quincy is also a photographer and will be taking some shots of me for my websites. It’s my experience that folks always like to see the face behind a company. I hate dealing with faceless corporations. I like to know who I’m doing business with, don’t you?

My friend D is also flying into New York this weekend, as a stopover before heading out to Detroit for a wedding on Sunday, and I can’t wait to see her! We’re going to paint the town red on Saturday night, so New York - watch out!

She’s currently stuck in Atlanta because her first flight was delayed and she missed her connecting flight. Too bad, so sad. Next time, fly Continental, chica.

This weekend is going to be great!

The question to answer: Did I call my friend on her lame excuse or did I let it slide, and why?

Jenna’s winning response:

I don’t think you said anything to your friend about it. She was probably really embarrassed about not getting back to you sooner, and you let her save face.

Jenna has won a set of the Hi, Society! calling cards of her choice!  (Jenna, I’ve already sent you an email with the details of how to claim your prize.  Enjoy!)

Thanks to everyone who participated.  Keep your eyes peeled for another opportunity to win!

And sometimes being a good friend means you’ve gotta call them on it.

The question to answer: Which one of the above did I choose and why?

The prize: One lucky duck will win a set of their choice of personalized calling cards from Hi, Society! Design Studio.  That’s a value of $55!  (I’ve always wanted to say that, like they do in in informercials.)

The details: Email your entry to contest [ @ ] hisocietyds.com (without the spaces and brackets, of course).  Oh, and did I mention?  You must be a fan of Hi, Society! on Facebook in order to win.  (Need the link to our Facebook page?  Here ya go.)

Entries close on Friday, March 20 at 11:59 pm,  and the winner and his or her entry will be posted here Social Tools on Monday, March 23.  Only one entry per person, please.  Winning entry may be edited for brevity or clarity.  Contest is open to U.S. residents only.

One of the best parts of this trip was getting to see my longtime friend, Constance.  We met in 6th grade, and she has been one of my best friends and partner in crime ever since.

The last time we saw each other was in 1998 at Oxmoor Mall, one of our regular mischief-making haunts.  We used to window shop there all day, get lunch in the food court and try to hit people with food we tossed over the balcony.  We were Trouble.

(One time, Constance dropped a piece of her baked potato into some lady’s hair.  The woman didn’t notice.  To this day, we’re both amazed that we were never kicked out of the mall.  The lesson, kids?  You can be a troublemaker as long as you don’t get caught!)

She and I had spoken on the phone several times since ‘98, but there were often gaps of years in between calls.  For awhile, I lost track of her completely.  We decided to meet up at Coastal Flats in Tysons Corner and caught up over delicious if not slightly oversalted food and several well-made caipirinhas and mojitos.

It’s so weird, but we’re still the same kids we’ve always been, the same personalities.  “You’re grown up now,” she told me, “but I still see the same Kendall I remember sitting across from me.”  I could say the same for her, and I loved that.

We spent the afternoon engaging in a little retail therapy.  I picked up the cutest fascinator:

We stopped into Bath & Body Works where I picked up some Silky Dirt by Jonathan:

After purchasing it, I glanced at my receipt.  8:34 PM.   It’s 8:30?  Shit! I was supposed to be leaving for a party with Will at 9.  That wasn’t going to happen.  I realized that Tysons Corner is basically a casino for shopping: No windows, no clocks, no idea how long you’ve been there.

Constance and I parted ways, and I hightailed it back to Alexandria.

Will and I got dressed in party duds, I threw some Silky Dirt in my hair and added some texture with my handy-dandy flat iron, and we left.

The party was a birthday bash for a friend of Will’s.  We’re talking formal invitations - stamped and mailed, not some Evite.  The party was in a 2-story photography studio.  A DJ was spinning tunes, there was yummy food, and the best part was the birthday cake - delicious cupcakes with red icing, red being the birthday boy’s signature color.  I love the taste of red food coloring.  It’s so chemically delicious.

The party ended around 2 a.m.  (Or was it 3?  I can’t remember.)  The universal signal for “party’s over” was given - someone flipped on the house lights.  That’s party-speak for “you don’t have to go home, but you have to get the heck outta here.”

We left and headed into DC for a Chinese chicken joint called Danny’s.  Will got some wings and fries, and I got chicken egg rolls, a surprisingly delicious end to an even more delicious day.

I can see through the cafe windows that a band is setting up to play although the place is largely empty.  When I walk in through the door, everyone looks surprised to see me walk in.  I can see it on their faces.  They all pause.  Time stopped ever so briefly. 

This immediately reminded me why I’m hesitant to leave the house around here.  No matter where I go, I stick out like a sore thumb.  I don’t mind sticking out sometimes and in some ways, but not in this way and not all the time.  I feel like a walking blinking neon sign whenever I leave my house.

The stunning lack of diversity here never fails to bowl me over.

I’m being treated differently, gingerly, almost.  I can read their faces: “We’ve never been in this situation before. Don’t want to be too friendly, like we’re new at this - but we don’t want to play it so cool that we’re cold, either.”  I can see them struggle to find a balance they feel comfortable with.  And it’s okay, because I’m uncomfortable, too.  I can feel their lack of experience with people who don’t look like them.  It’s almost palpable, hanging thick in the air.

As I approach the counter at the back of the cafe, one of [who I presume to be] the owners greets me.  I could hear the tentativeness in her voice, just a bit.  I ask her if the cafe had Wi-Fi.  “Yes, but you won’t be able to hear anything over the band,” and she gestures at the kids setting up stools and mics.

That’s okay. I don’t need to hear what … my typing? My computer’s chimes as it boots up?

“Thanks,” I tell her.  “I think I’ll be fine.”  I smile.  She smiles.  Our rocky start might smooth out.

I’m looking for a surrogate office, so my laptop and I will probably be back in the daytime.   The food is pretty good - I just polished off a turkey and mozzarella panini - plus, I like supporting local businesses.  (Of course, in a small town like Flemington - which is bigger than the town in which I actually live - isn’t every business basically a local business? Ha.)

We’ll see how things go and just take it one day at a time.  That’s all you can do, right?

Update: After I packed up my belongings, I headed to the counter to pay for my sandwich and drink.  Not seeing a credit card machine, I asked the owner if they accepted debit cards.  They didn’t - cash only.  I only had my debit card on me, but I had cash in my car.  I told the owner I would have to run to my car to get cash, and that’s exactly what I did.  When I came back a few minutes later, she looked surprised to see me: “Oh, you came back!”

“Of course I came back.  You didn’t think I was coming back?”

She seemed flustered.  “No, I thought you were coming back…”

Then why the surprise?  This was weird.

I handed her a $20, took my $10.50 in change, went back to my car, and drove home.

This friend asked me again just a few minutes ago - we’re both night owls and are up chatting on Facebook - and I told him again that I didn’t know.  He replied, “Your [post] was so inspiring and motivated me, and now I see the truth of the matter.”

Hmm.  Ouch.

The truth is, I haven’t forgotten my site.  In fact, it’s mostly finished.  But I haven’t felt like it was there yet; not quite ready for public consumption.  For one thing, I had no idea what I wanted to go on the front page.  And a website has to have to have a front page for all the obvious reasons.

I’d been talking with another designer friend and fellow CFCer, Pennycooke, who suggested putting a shot of my latest project on the front.  Hmm, yeah, I don’t know. A friend and mentor said to remember that my site will never be a finished project; it will always be in flux, so don’t fret too much about it.  And I knew that in the back of my head, but I appreciated him reminding me of that fact.

But it’s only now that I realize why the site’s not finished.  I told my friend a few minutes ago, and I’ll tell you, too:

I gave myself a get-my-butt-in-gear deadline, and I needed that.  But that deadline, quite honestly, was chosen arbitrarily.  I realize that yes, I could have just thrown some pictures of my work up on a hastily put together website, but that’s not me.  Never has been.  Plus, the text on my site required more thought and consideration than what I could think up in a week.

And I like to take my time to think about things.  Most people think good design (or good writing) comes in a flash, but that’s not true.  It’s a process.  You have to think about it and put something down on paper (or on screen), then think about it some more.  At least, that’s what I do.  And my end-product is all the better because of it.

But back to the subject - I hate making rush decisions.  And the more someone presses me to choose, the more I like to pause and think about the decision before actually making it.  I don’t make too many decisions  - and especially not BIG decisions - without sleeping on it for a night or two at least.  Why should I think my website would be any different just because I was the one who was pressing for a decision?

Around 3 a.m. - seriously, about 45 minutes ago - I just finalized (in my head) what I wanted to be on the front page.  I’ve also decided to add a page to my site about the process of working with a graphic designer.  People like to know what a process will be before they get started.  How will the relationship start?  How will it work?  And how will that relationship with Element K Creative provide a solution that is tailored to their specific needs?

See?  You want to know, too, don’t you?

It’s all coming … in due time.

Being back on the East Coast certainly has its benefits - namely, being able to make an easy 4-hour drive to DC (as opposed to having to take a much more costly plane ride).  I invited my friend and brother Quincy to ride down with me from New Jersey since his parents live in NoVa.  Turns out he had a photo shoot to do in DC over the weekend and he was due for a visit.  Sweet.

Quincy met me at the New Brunswick train station.  I was hoping he’d be able to avoid a train transfer in Newark, but no dice - he still had to transfer train lines.  Now I realize I should have asked him to meet me at a station closer to my house to simplify my end of the trip since it would have taken him the same number of transfers and time.

It was great to have his company on the way down.  We talked about music, Cartoon-gate (the NY Post editorial cartoon melodrama), and about how he would convince his parents that no, he’s not really sick - “it’s just allergies.”  (But Q. was really, really sick.  Poor thing.  Shh, don’t tell him I told.)

Once on the road, I realized that I had forgotten two very important things: 

1. Undies, 2 pair.
2. There are tolls, and lots of them.

(Will later asked me, “How do you forget to pack underwear, Kendall? That’s the first thing you pack!”  Okay, well, it clearly is not the first thing I packed.  I packed a bath towel first, so nyah.)

The undies would be easy enough to replace.  (Once in Northern Virginia, I simply bought a pack of cute Joe Boxer women’s undies at a K-Mart I was passing by.)  But the tolls?  Hmm.  Those could be problematic.

The first toll wasn’t bad - it was somewhere along the NJ Turnpike, if I recall correctly.  Just a few dollars.  But then came another toll, and another.  There was a toll to get over the Delaware Bridge and yet another toll just a ways into Maryland.  I emptied my pockets and saw that I was running low on cash.  (It was quite amazing that I’d had cash in the first place, as I rely on my debit card for virtually all purchases.)

At the toll plaza just inside Maryland, I asked the cashier, “How many more tolls are there between here and DC?”

“Just one - in Baltimore,” she replied.  And how much would it be?  “Four dollars.”

Shit. I only had $2.75 left.  Quincy?  “I spent the last of my cash on my cold medicine at the rest stop.”  Shit!  It was imperative that we hit up an ATM before reaching Baltimore.  I did not want to be at that toll booth without enough money.  I’ve been in that situation before, and it’s not fun.  (Thanks, Pittsburgh!)

Enter Elkton, MD.  The good old navigation system said there was a Bank of America ATM a few miles off of I-95, so that became the new destination.  Turned out that the ATM was much further away than it initially seemed.  That’s okay; a grocery store would do - anyplace I could make a small purchase to get cash back.

Meanwhile, in DC, a happy hour for George Mason alumni was going down at a club.  The original plans put us in DC by 10 o’clock, so I was expected to be able to come through.  Several folks I wanted to see were there and were texting me - “where r u?”

“In Elkton, MD, looking for an ATM.”

“Ur ridiculous.”  True that.

A rather long detour yielded a grocery store in Elkton that was open.  I bought some crackers, got $40 back in cash, and we made our way back to I-95.  Around that time, Quincy’s dad, who was going to pick him up at a Metro station in DC, called wanting to know when we’d arrive.  “About 11:10,” he told him.   (11:10?  Really, Q?  Baltimore was an hour from DC, and we hadn’t even hit Baltimore yet.  I knew there was no way we’d make it to DC by 11:10.  No.  Way.)

When we finally hit the Baltimore tunnel, the sign read, “TOLL: Cars - $2.00.”  Great. We lost almost an hour of travel time looking for $1.75 that was ultimately not needed.  Thanks, lady.

We got into DC a little after midnight.  I dropped Q. off at the Chinatown Metro station so he could meet his dad and drove over to the club where the happy hour was going on.  One lucky DC parking spot and quick costume change later - I chucked my Adidas Sambas for the black leather pumps in my suitcase - Will and I hit up the club so I could say hi to friends who were just leaving to go home.  All too brief hellos, hugs, and goodbyes, but still great to see them.

Last stop of the night: the famous Ben’s Chili Bowl.  “Hopefully the line isn’t out the door,” said Will.  Turns out, it wasn’t.  The line merely swung around twice inside the restaurant.  It was 1 a.m., I was starving, and there was a chili burger with my name on it.  I was willing to wait in the line.  A sign posted behind the counter made me laugh:

THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO EAT FREE:
BILL COSBY
THE OBAMAS

– and underneath “THE OBAMAS” was handwritten “BUT THEY PAID!”

“Wanna split some cheese fries?”  I asked.

“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

Felt like I’d never left.

I sent an old friend a book and magazine for an industry in which she’s starting a career.  I wrapped it in sparkly black gift-wrap, wrote a quick note - on my own set of personalized note cards, of course - and sent it just before Christmas, although it wasn’t necessarily a Christmas present.  (I’d actually had it for about a month before I got around to sending it.)

I shipped the gift via FedEx so I could track the package and make sure she received it.  Delivery was attempted, but she wasn’t at home to sign for it, so the driver didn’t leave the package at her door.  (I sent it signature-required.)  I shot her an email that evening that said “hey, I sent you something - you have to sign for it.” The next day, I believe, FedEx successfully delivered the package.

I haven’t heard anything from this friend since, and I’m left wondering what happened.  Did she receive my gift?  Did she like it?  Can she use it? 

The only thing I was expecting was a quick email - “hey, I got the gift - thanks.”  A bonus would have been a phone call to catch up on what else she’s up to these days, although I wasn’t expecting that call.

As of tonight, I’ve emailed her twice since December asking if she received it.

No response.

So I’m wondering how to interpret this.  I usually like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but it’s a pretty clear snub, don’t you think?  I gave her the benefit of the doubt by following up the first time, asking her if she’d received it.  So much time had passed that I forgot she hadn’t replied until tonight when I saw her online on Facebook, leading me to shoot her what was the second note asking if she’d received the package.

I just sent her another message via Facebook chat, and she logged off.  Wow.

I don’t give gifts with strings, and I don’t give to receive.  I give because I think the recipient will enjoy what I’ve selected for them.  Bottom line: Whether you hate the gift or love it, you should always acknowledge receipt of a gift and thank the gift-giver.  It is the polite, courteous thing to do.

Until I hear from my friend, I’ll always wonder if she ever received it and wonder what’s the deal? Inquiring minds want to know.

(Need a refresher course on how to write a quick, painless thank-you note?  Click here.)

A woman wrote into The Consumerist, reporting that Facebook has denied her request to have her deceased brother’s Facebook account closed down.  The sister sent Facebook a copy of her brother’s death certificate, but Facebook refused, citing it was against their policy to close down deceased members’ accounts.

Facebook’s reply? 

“Per our policy for deceased users, we have memorialized this person’s account. This removes certain more sensitive information and sets privacy so that only confirmed friends can see the profile or find the person in search. The Wall remains so that friends and family can leave posts in remembrance.”

This policy is fine, but when the deceased’s next of kin specifically requests the account be closed, Facebook should stop spouting off policies and simply and quickly honor their request.

Not doing so seems pretty cruel, don’t you think?

(I also just finished reading a piece by Bonnie Fuller called, “Help! Someone Save the Octuplets from Their Mom.”  Read it. It’s good.  It’s what reminded me of the dinner party conversation and spurred me to write this.)

One member of the party - a woman, a doctor - thought it was morally reprehensible for the fertility doctor to implant all of those embryos in a woman who already had six children at home. I happened to agree because of the living situation of the pre-existing family: 6 children and 3 adults living in a 3 bedroom house. 

Another member of the dining party - another woman, another doctor - said who was the doctor to say she couldn’t have as many children as she wants? What if the government started legislating how many children people were able to have and under what circumstances?

(I thought the second woman’s argument was a little off base, though. Judges have ordered women not to have more children and men not to father more children in certain circumstances. Is it better for someone to say, “You shouldn’t bring any more children into the world, at least not right now” or is it better for a child to go without or be neglected once they’ve already arrived and hopefully taken into some sort of foster care? It’s not like children ask to be born; they’re dependent on adults to make prudent decisions like “Can you feed me, care for me, love me, nurture me?”)

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. I thought it was morally reprehensible to deliberately bring forth life you cannot afford to feed, especially when you can’t afford to feed the 6 mouths you already have at home.  I did say that people should have as many as they like as long as 1) they can support them and 2) taxpayers aren’t paying to support those children. I mean, we taxpayers didn’t vote to have them, did we?

So now we know that Ms. Suleman is on public assistance, welfare, receiving food stamps. This, in and of itself, is nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone is as financially blessed as others.  Sometimes people fall on hard times. Sometimes people need a helping hand. There’s nothing to be ashamed of for being on public assistance if you’re working to improve your situation in life, but the current evidence shows this doesn’t seem to be the case with Ms. Suleman, who also receives a disability payment from the State of California for one of her original 6 children.

Even Ms. Suleman’s mother understands she doesn’t have the wherewithall or resources to care for 14 children. Ms. Suleman said she’s hoping that friends and family will continue to pitch in. Is that a responsible plan for raising a family that is numerous enough to field a little league football team?

My two closest friends - Will and D - live elsewhere.  Actually, I guess I’m the one who really lives elsewhere.  I’m the one who’s moved.  Twice.

Will, whom I’ve known longer, is still in Virginia.  He’s a friend and brother all rolled up into one.  We’ve been friends for 7 years now and seen each other at our best and worst.  (I’m not just tossing out a tired cliché here.  Take this literally.)  And we’re so similar that sometimes it’s like talking to a male version of myself.

Will actually lived right across the hall from me in our dorm building, Dominion Hall, for about 4 months before we even spoke to each other.  I’d see him at the elevator, or see him walking to or from our building, but we never really spoke.  Perhaps a quick “hello” or nod of acknowledgment as we passed each other, but that was about it. 

Each of us later found ourselves joining complementary organizations on campus, and that’s when we actually met despite having lived across the hall from each other for so long.  He went from being a stranger to being my road dog and confidant in 0 to 60.  So while fate sort of flung us together, had we not found out how we were similar, I wouldn’t be writing about this at all.

And then there’s D.  Not even 3 years ago, we met on the internet on a discussion board for members of our sorority (shout out to RZ).  Our friendship is a testament to the power of being part of a community and plugged into a network.  When I found out that I was moving to Texas - where I knew absolutely no one - I put a message out on the board, and she replied and suggested meeting up.  We became friends immediately.

Another testament to the power of collaboration: D remembered that I used to work in PR and called to ask me for advice on a situation.  That conversation ended up turning into a partnership in a business endeavor that paid great dividends for each of us.  Yet another a testament that tapping into your network pays off.

She and I have way more differences than similarities.  (She might have a differing opinion on this, which I just might ask her about because now I’m curious.)  But those differences complemented each other.  It worked out great, especially when we ran a company together.  We each brought something different to the table in a way that just worked.

Best of all, though, D was my go-to girl when it came to being out and about in Houston.  Lunch?  Sure, let’s go.  Dinner and drink after work?  Meet you at Benjy’s in 20.  Road trip?  Let’s go.

I keep using the word “network,” but I don’t want you think networking is all about business.  It’s not.  Every relationship in life, I think, starts with finding out what you have in common with the next person and building on it.  I need to keep that in the forefront of my mind while wandering around this tiny town.

I’ve bought several cute brooches on eBay over the past year or so.  Here are 4 fashion finds that I love and that you just might love, too. 

Vintage Silver Marcasite Monogram Brooch

What’s that?  Your initials aren’t “RSR?”  So what?  If you’ve got enough moxie or simply happen to appreciate the beauty of this brooch, you’ll rock it anyway.  (I would.)  Keep them guessing.  “RSR?  I thought your name was Jeanette… ?”

The sparkly silver and marcasite stones should be enough to overcome any initial objections.

“Initial” objections.  Get it?  All right, I’ll stop.

Bid here.

Elegant Rhinestone Branch Pin

This rhinestone pin would look bright and feminine pinned to a winter coat.

Bid here.

Vintage Sterling Silver Treble Clef Brooch

This pin is clearly for someone who likes to rock out with her clef out.

Yes, this pin has become a bit tarnished - as long-unworn silver pieces are wont to do - but an inexpensive polishing cloth or some Tarn-X (available at most grocery stores) would make this sterling silver shine again.

Bid here.

Vintage Silver Purple Stone Brooch

This ornate pin has a gorgeous purple stone to add a little bit of color to a drab winter day.  Try it against a black or gray top to really make it pop.

Bid here.

All photos are owned by the respective sellers.

So we’re standing on a corner, waiting for the light to change so we can cross, when suddenly a car full of guys honks at us.  Okay, well, at me.  What the hell?

Dude. STOP. 

It’s not the first time I’ve been honked at, and there stands a good chance it won’t be the last.  But men, I’ve always wondered - what are you trying to achieve by doing this, besides letting the honked-at (and everyone else within earshot) know that you are a total creep?  I asked Quincy about this - and if he’s ever done it - and here’s his reply:

“No, never.  I’m against that.  It’s ridiculous.  What are you hoping to accomplish in doing that?  Whenever I’m around a group of guys and they do it, I’m like ‘Come on, dude.’  They never have an intelligent answer about doing it - ‘it’s whatever.’ “

And what do Q.’s other female friends think?  “They’re all disgusted about it.  The kind of girls that do respond to it are the ones that are going for it.”

So men, what gives?  What are you trying to accomplish?  And are you finding dating or hook-up success with this?  Do tell.

So what am I holding onto?  What’s in my inbox? 

• My oldest unread email is from July 9, 2007, and it’s from eBay with checkout instructions for a dress I purchased.
• I have various emails from Facebook: Someone added me as a friend.  Someone replied to a thread.  Someone wrote me a message.  Someone commented on my status.  Someone commented on my photos.  All of these emails came before I learned how to change my email notification settings.
• Lots of Daily Candy emails.  I love the unique shopping finds, but 2 emails a day really add up … to me not having time to read all of them.
• Various order confirmations and shipping notifications.  Thanks, I got it - whatever it was.
• Emails from friends and family, especially if “FW:” or a large amount of exclamation points (!!!!!!) were in the subject line.  (Side note: I hate forwards.  AOL and Microsoft are NOT giving money away, Mom.  No video will appear when I forward this to 10 people, dear friends.  I will not be killed by Mexican gang members if I shop at Walmart, but thanks for caring, Dad.)

It really irks me, seeing that number of emails listed in my inbox.  Part of me is reluctant to archive these messages because I feel like I’m missing something. Another part of me - the same part of me that doesn’t check voicemail regularly ever more than once a month - feels like there was a clear reason I didn’t open these emails when they came in.  Whatever was in the subject line didn’t seem urgent or important at the time.

Time is a precious commodity, something limited in quantity.  I don’t like it when people waste my time, and I don’t like wasting other people’s time.  But there’s a fine line here:  In an age where it takes 10 seconds to rattle off an email, one has to be quick to judge what’s important enough to dedicate part of your life to or what should be skipped over.  I’ve always figured if it’s truly important, people will call as a backup.  Or hit me on Facebook.

What should I do with the unread emails in my inbox?  Archive them?  Simply ignore the ever-increasing tally on the side of my screen?  What do you do to manage your inbox?

As for rehashing the past, my trip to Charleston was fabulous.  It was so wonderful to see my mom and to see friends from high school that I hadn’t seen in several years.  My friend, the bride, looked gorgeous, and I’m so happy for her and her new hubby.

The best thing about our friendships is that sense of shared history.  You can turn to that friend and say, “Remember that time when … ?” and the other person knows exactly what you’re talking about because they were there, living that moment right along with you.

Life is good.

The latest addition to VH1’s reality show compendium is “Tool Academy.”  The basis of the show is that girlfriends secretly signed their jerk boyfriends up for “relationship camp.”

Here are some of the things the girlfriends have said about their boyfriends in the premiere episode interviews (emphasis is mine): 

• “He treats me like I don’t exist.”
• “He’s living off of my child support.  Tommy does not help me with any bills.”
• “Josh’s priorities are bowling, clubbing, [then me].”
• “It’s all about him.  He has no idea who I am or what I do.”
• “I do everything for him.  I clean, I do laundry.  I feel like he doesn’t like me anymore.”
• “I don’t know if I can really trust him.”
• “Robert makes me feel like I’m not good enough.”
• “I’m sick of vying for his attention all the time.”

On the flip side, here’s what the men had to say about their relationships and girlfriends:

• “I take home at least 14 chicks every single week.  I have my regular, my bottom bitch, that’s always been down for me for the past 9 years.”
• “I’ve trained Ashley very well.  She knows when to stay in line, which is all the time.”
• “I run her, for the most part.”

Why are these women sticking around for mistreatment?  What boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is worth your self-respect and self-esteem?  What relationship is worth public humiliation on national television?  What total douche bag boyfriend who is cheating on you and emotionally abusing you is worth it?

<crickets chirping>

But like I said, I love this stuff.  Tool on, VH1.  Tool on.

Her hair is purple.  It’s not supposed to be.

Truth be told, I’m exaggerating just a touch.  Her hair is not completely purple.  It has purple streaks in it - a dye experiment that had unexpected results.

She and I have long had issues with her hair.  I want her to get a cut, appropriately styled for her personality and her age.  She often talks of going for the gusto, getting that long overdue cut and style.  She’s been telling me “I’ve been looking at styles - I’m still thinking about what I want” for about 10 years now. 

My mom has been described as “a stone cold fox, except for her glasses.”  We remedied the glasses issue this afternoon.  I helped her pick out some new frames that accentuate her face instead of hide it.  One day I’ll have to post a picture of the ginormous glasses that both she and my father used to wear.  Suffice to say, not every part of 80’s fashion should be revived, and those huge glasses are at the top of the list.

So, I’m still working on her.  Maybe I can get her to commit to a cut and style while I’m visiting this week.

I said maybe.

The occasion?  K, one of my friends from high school (a Magneteer) is getting married.  She and I played varsity softball together, laughed together, and commiserated about the rigors and occasional absurdity of Magnet life.   Magneteers, or folks who attended Academic Magnet High School, are a pretty tight bunch.  There were only 88 of us in our graduating class, and I could actually list everyone out by name if I had the time and inclination.  (But I have neither.  So sue me.)

The first scheduled event is K’s bachelorette party on Thursday night.  This will require a stop by an adult novelty store for the purchase of an appropriately inappropriate gift.  (What’s the name of that store on Cross County Road?  Is it still there?)

Another friend and her husband are expecting their first child, so of course I’m looking forward to seeing her.  Is it possible she’ll be barefoot and pregnant and liking it?  We’ll see.

Will K’s wedding festivities be a small-scale high school reunion?   What’s changed since I’ve last been home?  I’ll report back on all sorts of social yumminess.  Count on it.

(Actually, posts might be a bit slow from the road.  My mom does not have internet at her house.  I know.  It’s unbelievable.  While I’m at home, I will set up the computer I sent her a year ago - which I’m sure is still sitting in its box - and try my best to drag her into the technology of at least 2004.  That might be the best we can hope for.  Baby steps.  Wish me luck.)

The upside: It’s a classic that will always be fashionable.

The downside: It’s heavy as hell!  Carrying this bad boy through the airport would probably be a nightmare.  And would it fit in the overhead compartment?  Doubtful.  So far, I’ve only used this suitcase for short road trips, 1- or 2-night stays and the like.

Check out these delicious vintage suitcase finds: 

American Tourister “Tiara” suitcase

Bid here.  Or get a blue one (like the one I have) here.

Samsonite crocodile-embossed leather suitcase

This suitcase looks like it’s missing from the set of “Mad Men.” I love it.

Bid here.

Munro hatbox-style suitcase

This soft-sided hatbox style suitcase has to be much lighter than its hard-sided counterparts.  Something to consider.

Bid here.

Vintage Samsonite luggage set

This set looks straight out of Miami from the 1970s, a very “Miami Vice” feel.  With checked baggage fees coming out the wazoo, you wouldn’t want to take all of these to the airport.  But if you can manage to take only two of the set, you’ll be fashionably on target.  The medium size suitcase and train case would make a good pair for a weekend getaway.

Bid here.

All photos are property of the respective sellers.

Yet.

I’ve been able to put Element K’s website off this long because projects come in pretty steadily by referral, which is always great, plus I took a little time off to launch Hi, Society! Design Studio.  I was busy and kept saying, “I have sooo many projects to do that I don’t have time to design my own website.”

Excuses.  (And some of you know what excuses are.) 

This week, I caught up with a colleague on the West Coast with whom I’d been playing phone tag for about a week.  J.  and I met at the Creative Freelancer Conference in August and immediately hit it off.  She and I have decided to be accountable to each other for following through with certain plans and practices for each of our businesses.

We’ve agreed to meet every two weeks to catch up, bounce ideas off each other, and see where we are in executing our plans.  Our next meeting is January 23rd.  She’s got her two goals; I have one major goal: Finish and launch Element K Creative’s website.

So I’m accountable to J., and now all of you can hold me to this, as well: Element K Creative’s website will launch by or on January 23rd.

Element K’s site doesn’t have to have every bell and whistle.  In fact, it won’t.  I’m not a big bell/whistle kind of girl.  My style is pretty simple, and I don’t want the site to compete with the work. The site just has to show potential clients how I can solve their creative communication challenges.  (Because that’s what I do!)

So this time around, no excuses.  I’m using my network to help me get things done.  You should, too.

I just got in from having dinner and coffee with a new friend. He’s actually my fraternity brother, and while we’ve known each other for about 3 years and have several friends in common, we never really traveled in the same circle.  We were friendly, but we didn’t become friends until just a few weeks ago.  Our friendship, for me at least, was solidified tonight.  But that’s not exactly what this post is about.  I’ll get to it. 

Unfortunately, I can’t remember who gave me this networking advice, but I think it’s good stuff, so here it is: “Make it a point to meet one new person every day.”  (If you’re the originator of that advice, feel free to name it and claim it in the comments.)

Getting out of the house and meeting folks is particularly critical for me because my office is in my house.  Coworkers?  Nonexistent.  Water cooler chats?  Don’t happen.  Office gossip?  Well, my office staff are pretty chatty but make for a lousy network.  I could work in a cave and the result would be the same.

Point is, I need to start working on my NJ-NY network.  I’m going to try to meet one new person each day.  And seeing as the regional custom (north of all points in Virginia?) seems to be to barely acknowledge anyone else’s existence, it will take more work than usual on my part.

But that’s okay.  I’m sociable.

But what should the person always extending himself or herself do?  The way I see it, you have three options: 

1.  Ignore their faux pas

Hey, you’re the super cool, laid back type.  Everything rolls off your back - everyone’s annoying habits, their quirks, or their outright rudeness.  You simply don’t care.  At all.  About anything.  Ever.  There’s not much to say here.  You’ve made a choice to ignore it, and you’re sticking to it.  Let me know how that works for you.

2.  Let it slide and silently seethe (AKA “the slide-and-seethe”)

The trouble is, ignoring the issue is a slippery slope.  What if you actually start to care?  You can find yourself in a “slide-and-seethe” situation.

What happens if you decide to take the slide-and-seethe route?  I have a friend who didn’t reciprocate when it came to driving.  I drove us everywhere; picked her up; took her home.  I ignored it for a long time; didn’t think about, really.  When I realized what our situation had become, I felt unappreciated but said nothing.  There came a Final Straw, and I lost it.  I told my friend that I needed some time to cool off and didn’t speak to her for about 3 months.

Long story short, our friendship was severely damaged.  It still hasn’t recovered fully and probably won’t.  That’s the risk you take when you opt to let it slide and seethe silently.

3.  Confront your friend about the situation

There are people who fear confrontation and avoid it at all costs.  These people think confrontation is a bad thing or that it has to be an unpleasant experience.  The truth is that confrontation is a healthy way address an issue, instead of stewing in anger and resentment.

In my situation, I should have politely confronted my friend.  It could have been as simple as “Hey, could you give me 5 bucks for gas occasionally?” - but I didn’t.  I didn’t want to have to ask; I wanted her to just offer, but people can’t read minds.  A small confrontation could have saved our friendship. Clearly, the slide-and-seethe method does no one any favors.

So which route do you choose?

We all have faults and sometimes fall short of being a good friend.  In my circle, we always say “if folks knew better, they’d do better.”  So which route do you choose?  Ask yourself what can you live with and how long can you live with it.

Confrontation works the best for me, regardless of whether I’m on the giving end or the receiving end.  If I were doing something to offend a friend, I would want to know so I could remedy the situation.

Ultimately, you have to consider your personality, your friend’s personality, but most importantly - have a clear picture in mind of the outcome you’re looking for and tailor your decision to your desired outcome.

I’m not talking about material things - that new plasma TV or that shiny bauble you saw in the store window.  I’m talking about taking the bull by the horns and making a plan to achieve your goals for the year.  It could a plan to earn a coveted corner office.  It could be sitting down and finally writing that business plan to start your own company.  It could be finally hiring that trainer to help you lose 20 pounds - whatever.  Pick a goal - any goal - and make a plan to achieve it.

Sometimes the hardest part of a task is getting started.  Usually, once you’ve started, the rest of the work seems all downhill.  Getting started is hard, sure, but I hate it when folks tell me they can’t do something because of <insert excuse here>.  Yes, you can.

can –auxiliary verb

1. to be able to; have the ability, power, or skill to
2. to know how to
3. to have the power or means to

You can achieve your goal, but that’s only if you make a plan and execute it.  Will you stick it out?

A good friend of mine has been wanting to make the leap from working for someone else in a job that bores her silly to working for herself full time doing something she’s passionate about.  Every time she tells me why she “can’t” make that leap, I come back with suggestions on how she can succeed. I know she can do this; she’s one smart cookie and is driven by success.

I never tell her it will be easy.  In fact, it won’t be easy.  If making that leap were easy, everyone would be doing it.  Success takes planning, hard work, and prayer, too. The point is she is more than capable of achieving her goal, and so are you. The question is “how bad do you want it?” Enough to start? Enough to see it through?

People and life will present us with enough challenges and obstacles that we’ll either defeat or let defeat us.  Don’t make more obstacles for yourself.  In 2009, resolve to overcome your own objections as to why you “can’t” accomplish your dreams.

Because really - you can.

I launched my stationery company this year after 2.5 years of planning, planning, planning. I learned how to run my design business better.  I’ve met some awesome people - new friends, new colleagues, new mentors.  You rock, and I look forward to growing our relationships.  Thank you. 

I have a slew of good friends from coast to coast.  Some of you have been there for me since 3rd grade and 6th grade, some only within the past couple of years, and there are many of you who fall somewhere in the middle.  I cherish you all.  Thank you.

I have a family that loves me and supports me.  You’re priceless.  Thank you.

Bottom line - I have no complaints.  Life is not perfect, but I look behind me and see the beauty in every day, even the miserable ones.  And believe me, there have been a few of those.  I’m human.

There will be some huge changes for me in 2009.  I have visions of who, what, and where I want to be - and I’m working on plans to meet those ends.  It won’t be easy - change is never easy - but I welcome the challenge.

What are some of your plans to make the new year rock?

Here’s to 2009.

Cheers -
K.

How small is small, you ask?  It’s about 1.5 square miles big.  The closest Target and movie theater are about a 30 minute drive away.  Local restaurants are closed on Mondays.  The Walmart and grocery store down the road close at 10 p.m.  The lounge at the local Holiday Inn seems to have the most jumping nightlife.

But that’s not the really bad part. 

The disconcerting part, for me, is that there is almost no one here who looks like me.  I’ve officially become an other.

I’m used to living in big cities - Atlanta, D.C., Houston - very culturally diverse places.  You couldn’t go 10 feet in any direction without running into someone with a different ethnicity or cultural background.  I now live in a town with a population of 2,600.  According to the latest census data, about 35 of those 2,600 are Black.

I have seen looks of shock on people’s faces when I walk into a store.  I have seen the look on small children’s faces as they stare at this brown-skinned girl walking amongst the pale small-town New Jersey landscape.  I would not be surprised if they had never seen anyone who looked like me - or more specifically, someone who did not look like them.  I’m officially a rarity.

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like an outsider.  Oh, and did I mention that I don’t know a soul here?  How will I navigate this new existence?  Frequent trips to New York City, which is about an hour away?  Trips further down the east coast to see family and friends?  We shall see.  Stay tuned to find out.

Don’t fret - thank you notes needn’t be excruciating to write.  In fact, there’s a really simple formula to make writing them painless.  Write quick and easy thank you notes by following these easy steps:

1. First, write “thank you for the [insert gift here].”
2. If the gift was money, don’t write in the note the amount given to you.  Simply say the gift was “generous.”
   2b. Include a sentence on how you’ll spend the money, if you know.
3. For non-cash gifts, you still might want to say how generous the giver was and how you weren’t expecting anything (even if you were expecting something).
4. Close your thank you note with a “thanks again,” and sign your name.

And voila!  You’re finished!  Your gift-giver will feel like you truly appreciate the time, effort, and money they spent on you.  If you follow these easy guidelines, your thank you note might read something like this:

December 26, 2008

Dear Aunt Michelle,

Thank you so much for the gift card to Banana Republic!  It was very generous of you to think of me.  There is a coat I’ve had my eye on, and now I’ll be able to get it!  Thank you again.

Love,

Suzie

Make writing thank you notes even easier by using your own custom-designed note cards.

Check back on Friday and we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled program.  Deal?  Deal.

Cheers!
- K.

So when I take pen to pad, here’s what I use:

Le Pen by Marvy.

The slim-barrel pens have medium-weight tips and are perfect for writing inside note cards or journals.  The ink is rich and bold and flows smoothly onto paper.

As a bonus for me, Marvy offers Le Pen in my signature color, teal - although they call the shade “oriental blue.”  I have a few Le Pens in black and red, as well.  (Don’t look at me like that.  Sometimes you’re required to write in black ink - for forms and whatnot, and the red is perfect for editing and revising documents.)

The ink in Le Pen is smudge-proof, and it’s also acid-free and non-toxic, so I don’t have to worry about it ruining archive-quality papers or making my office staff sick should they decide to take a nibble.

Le Pen is available in these colors:

If you live near an art store, you can almost certainly purchase Le Pen there.  You can also order them online.

The exterior of Pagoda - a renovated house - is bright yellow and belies the chic, smartly appointed interior.  You’ll find dark woods, yellow walls, and gorgeous shell chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.  Enamel artwork hangs on the walls, glossy snapshots of Asian life.

Hurricane Ike blew off Pagoda’s roof, requiring them to close for about 5 weeks to renovate.  They had to gut the place and start again from scratch, but they’re back with a delicious vengeance.

Proprietors Sandy and Ester Tran - sisters - have a vast selection of delicious items on their menu.  I’ve actually only eaten two of their entrees in the 4 months or so since they’ve opened: the scallops and Shaking Beef.  Shaking Beef is absolutely divine - a mouth-watering blend of cubed filet mignon, onions, tomatoes, and watercress - all seared and sauteed in au jus.  Pagoda serves up Shaking Beef with a side called tomato rice.  The tomato taste is faint - just enough to make your tastebuds curious and want more.

I dine at Pagoda (or take-out) 2-3 times each week and order the same thing - cheese puffs, Shaking Beef, and sometimes the Pagoda Rolls, too. If you dine in, the service is friendly and quick.  Definitely ask for their signature drink menu, which has some tantalizing options.  I highly suggest the lychee (”lee-chee”) martini.  Smooth, with the pear-ish tasting lychee fruit, this drink starts cold on the lips, wraps around your tongue, and finishes warm in your belly.

Pagoda Bistro comes highly recommended.  If you’re in the Houston area and are looking for an excellent dining experience with food that makes your tastebuds dance and keeps your wallet happy, definitely check them out - Inker St. at Shepherd, just south of I-10.  Check out their menu on their website (only IE-friendly).  Ask for Ester or Sandy and tell them Kendall sent you.  You’ll be glad you did.

“What are you waiting for?” I asked him.

“I don’t know how to approach them about it,” he replied.

“Just ask. ‘Would you be willing to be my mentor?’ ”

He told me, “I knew you’d say that.”

Finding a mentor really is as easy as just asking.  Find someone who’s work and experience you admire - who’s successfully done what you want to do.  Tell them you admire their work and career and ask if they would be willing to mentor you.  Really, it is that easy - it’s a 2 sentence request.

Here are two ways you can find mentors to help guide you:

First, attend events in your industry (or desired industry).  In August, I attended the Creative Freelancer Conference and met an amazing group of experts in the creative field.  I was able to find out what they did to succeed and was even lucky enough to receive invaluable feedback about my work from Jeff Fisher and Peleg Top.  Although I hadn’t attended the conference with the find-a-mentor goal in mind, I took the opportunity to find one.

My mentor has been designing and directing other designers for nearly 20 years, so he knows a thing or two!  I’ve already benefited tremendously by asking him about his experiences (including both failures and successes), and he gives me pointers for pushing forward in my design career. And all it took was me asking.

Second, tap into your friend network.  You probably already know someone who’s doing what you want to do.  My other mentor is my sorority sister and friend who is also in the design field.  She’s been in the industry longer, has a wealth of knowledge, and is always happy to talk shop or answer any questions I have.

Another friend asked how much my mentors cost.  My reply?  “Zero dollars, plus my sincere appreciation.”

Moral of the story, kids?  Even if you don’t listen to your own mother, listen to mine: She always says, “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” So get out there and ask for the mentor you want.  You’ll be glad you did.

Exchange cards.

What?  You don’t have a card?

Don’t be the person scribbling your contact info on the back of a cocktail napkin.  We’ve all been guilty of it from time to time, but it does come across as sloppy and unprepared - never a good look.  Didn’t you know you’d be attending this event and meeting folks?  Of course you did.  Come prepared.

Calling cards need not be stodgy, boring things.  You should pick one that shows your personality.  Here’s a calling card/business card I recently designed for a friend (with her personal information blurred beyond recognition, of course):

She’s a lawyer, hence the “attorney at law,” but when she hands you her card, the first thing you notice is that her card is pink!  How many lawyers have pink cards?  The simple styling and rich, dark brown ink keep the card’s tone grounded, and her favorite law quote is on the back.  The point is, D’s calling card showcases her very serious trade and contact information with a hearty side of personality.  When she gives you this card, there’s no way you’ll forget her.  That’s the power of a calling card.

Here’s a tip for the card exchange: Tell the person you’ve connected with “let’s stay in touch” and ask if they have a card.  As a reflex, the other person will almost always ask for yours in return.  Asking for their card first eliminates any feeling of pushiness that might be in the air.

If the other person doesn’t have a card, definitely offer him or her your calling card.  Let them know you’d like to stay in touch and ask for their contact information - on the back of that cocktail napkin, I suppose - so you can be proactive about keeping in touch.

Killer shoes and clutch?  Check and check!

Obama ‘08 campaign button?  Hmm.  That might be a little too casual, don’t you think?

Instead of that campaign button, you might want to consider these jeweled pins:

Perhaps Barack Obama wasn’t your candidate of choice.  Don’t worry - you’re still covered.  Peace certainly accessorizes well with any outfit.

Or maybe you’re in a pro-America part of the country and want to show your support for real America (as opposed to fake America):

More styles are available at Obama Bling.

Hi, Society! Design Studio gift certificates are available at all times and are delivered to recipients immediately via email.  They’re perfect for last-minute gifts or for folks who like to pick their own gifts.  (You know the ones - they always ask you for the gift receipt!)

After examining over 21,000 public high schools across the country, U.S. News & World Report ranked Academic Magnet High School - my high school! - as #9 in the nation.

As an alumna of AMHS, or “Magnet,” as it’s usually called in Charleston, I’m so proud to see our tradition of excellence in education continue.  Thanks to Magnet, I was more than prepared for college when I walked across the stage to get my diploma in June 2000.  (I’m sure the other 87 members of my graduating class feel the same way.)

Long story short, Academic Magnet High School is it.  I’m so proud.  Go Raptors!

The Office Staff

What’s a socially savvy pet owner to do?  He or she must have the right connections - connections preferably already programmed into their speed dial.

Who’s on our speed dial?  Cubbie’s Bone.  Owner/operator Alexis Salazar is a true professional who clearly enjoys and excels at what she does.  Our office staff is very persnickety when it comes to strangers, but they warmed right up to Alexis.  Alexis came highly recommended by her references, and her company is fully bonded and insured.  If you need pet sitting services in the Houston area, Cubbie’s Bone gets 5 stars for professionalism, service, and value.

So what should you look for in a pet sitter?

• First, start looking for a pet sitting service well in advance of your trip.  You should check out a minimum of 2 pet sitting services.
• Ask friends and coworkers for referrals.  Who do they use?  And what do they think about that service?
• Is the service a member of the professional organization Pet Sitters International?
• Get references - at least 3, and actually call them.
• Conduct an interview in-person, in-home.  Does the pet sitter establish a positive rapport with your pets?  (Cubbie’s Bone was the second pet sitting service we interviewed.  The first interview didn’t go well; the office staff voted “NO” unanimously.)
• Is the pet sitting service bonded and insured?  If something does go wrong on their watch, make sure you’re covered for any loss or damage.

Pet Sitters International offers a thorough checklist on what to ask when interviewing a pet sitter.

The Marne Trench

Bold jewel-toned color is what makes this a statement coat.  I’m also loving the stand-up collar, although it does necessitate wearing a scarf if the wind starts to blow.  The Marne holds a special place in my heart because it’s my signature color, teal.  The bold color and 3/4 length sleeves make it trendy, but the trench style is classic enough to be in fashion year after year.

The Little Plaid Riding Hood Coat

Part femme Sherlock Holmes, part “meet you at the hunting lodge,” this fabulous coat is perfect for fall to early winter weather.  (You could even wear it in early spring.  It’s pretty versatile.)  It has a hood, although I think it’s more for show than for function.  This coat is perfect for work or play.  Moreover, this coat proves that style can be conservative without being boring.

The Green Light Go Coat

This bold kelly green coat is a quick way to brighten up a dreary winter day!  With a military-inspired look, the Green Light Go coat keeps it super-simple with a matching belt and hidden snap closures.  Pair this bad boy with some black boots and you’ll be hot to trot.

All of these coats are available from ModCloth.

If you don’t have a friend like this, chances are excellent that you are that friend.

I have a friend of a little over 2 years who doesn’t reciprocate.  We’ve gone on short road trips, gone to clubs and seen movies, gone out to eat together.  We’re in an organization with each other, and we live within walking distance of each other.  The thing is, I don’t think she doesn’t want to be friends.  I think she doesn’t realize she’s that friend.

I stopped inviting her out to do things when I realized she had extended an invitation to me only once in 2 years and almost always declined my invitations.  It grew to be so long since I’d invited her anywhere, I’d completely forgotten why I’d stopped inviting her in the first place.  But I quickly remembered why when I extended another offer and she declined.  I won’t make the mistake of inviting her somewhere again.

Reciprocating is easy.  Here are a few ways you can stop being that friend immediately:

• Start small. Suggest meeting for lunch or for drinks after work.  Don’t drink?  Don’t worry.  Most places that have great happy hours also have delicious food specials.  Mangia!
• Pick up the tab occasionally. I said occasionally.  If you know a friend’s had a hard day or week, surprise that friend by treating him or her to a meal or their first cocktail of the night.
• Invite friends over to your place. Have a game night, Wii night, movie night, knitting night - whatever you and your circle of friends enjoy doing.  It doesn’t have to be extravagant.  Pop some popcorn, break out the board games, and crack open a bottle of wine.
• Pick up the phone or hit the “send” button.  Are you the friend who never calls or writes?  One-sided friendships get old quick.  Get in touch - even if it’s one line: “Hey, what’s up?”
• Bring something. Are you the person who always shows up empty-handed and leaves with a plate?  Or only shows up with empty Tupperware - and leaves with it filled up?  There are some inexpensive wines that are tasty, or bring a store-bought dessert.  Just contribute something occasionally.
• Offer to drive. Is someone always coming to pick you up?  Do you ever offer to drive?  If you don’t have a vehicle, you’re not off the hook - offer to put some gasoline in your friend’s car.  He or she may politely decline your gasoline offer, but they’ll always remember that you appreciated them enough to offer.

Reciprocating shows that you’re aware of yourself and your surroundings and that you appreciate others.  If you’re that friend who never reciprocates, you are limiting yourself in ways you might not even be aware of.  It will cost you friendships, relationships, promotions, future offers, opportunities, and invites.  And people do talk - we know that you are always the taker in a social relationship.  You have to be a giver sometimes, too.

My dad is fond of saying “there’s no free lunch,” and he’s right.  In the end, not reciprocrating social courtesies will cost you far more than that $8 cocktail you got for “free.”

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I just found my Motorola bluetooth earpiece in the washing machine.

I hadn’t seen it in at least 6 months.  I have no idea how it made it into the upstairs closet since I normally kept it in the pocket of my car door.

I’m going to let the earpiece dry out for a few days, then see if it works.  I’m not optimistic.  I thought about putting it in the dryer, but I figured it might fry the circuitry - you know, if the water damage … and fabric softener didn’t kill it first.  We shall see.

Anyone have experience with this?

There are new card designs at Hi, Society! Design Studio! Some are perfect for winter and can easily be turned into a holiday party invitation with the addition of inside text:

Others are perfect for every season:

Of course there’s more.  Check out all of the newest designs and colors and start customizing them in the shop!

Gift giving made easy

We make gift giving easy.  When you purchase a set of cards, we’ll box and wrap your gift in our signature gift wrap (pictured) for just $4.95.  To make it even easier, we’ll send your gift directly to your recipient.  Just enter your recipient’s name and address during checkout.

Don’t know what to give?  Try a gift certificate instead.  Delivered instantly via email, it’s perfect for letting the recipient design their own card set!

These days, just about every news site worth reading has a “Read Full Article” link, but it’s located at the bottom of the first page.  Why don’t the news services put the link at the top of the page?  This way, as soon as the article loads, I can say, “Ah, there are multiple pages. I would like to read them all at once without stopping to go to a new page every 3 paragraphs.”

But, no.  Here’s what happens instead:

1. I get pulled in by the headline;
2. read the first few paragraphs;
3. get to the bottom of the page;
4. get hit with “by the way, there are 4 more pages” links;
5. hit “Read Full Article”;
6. scroll and stopandread;
7. scroll and stopandread…

… so I can make sure I didn’t pass up where page 1 of the article left off.  This is total nonsense and it drives me mad.

Do the people who put these mobile news sites together ever actually use their product?  Regularly?  (I guess this is rhetorical, because it’s pretty clear that they don’t.  Unless these programmers are just sadists.  I am not ruling this out as a possibility.)

Is there a specific reason why this is done?  Am I the only one who feels this way?

Kudos to the Washington Post.  It has the only mobile-friendly news site I’ve come across that puts “Read Full Article” at the top of the page, right under the article title.  The biggest culprits of impeding successful RWM are CNN Mobile and HuffPo Mobile.  You should be ashamed of yourselves for making it harder for your readers to use your service.

HuffPo, you deserve an extra helping of shame because you are also guilty of only posting about the first half of a piece.  You suck us in with those first 3-5 paragraphs and stop telling the story right in the middle.  We only get half the story!  Stop trying to sell us a fabulous pair of pants with only one pant-leg while telling us it’s cutting edge.  It’s not.  It’s just ill-planned and well … stupid.

News companies - shape up your mobile sites already.  “Read Full Article” links belong at the top!

The social tools you use speak volumes about your personal style and attitude about life.  They’re what you use and do to help make life the best it can be.

So what can you expect to find here?  Well, I’ll tell ya:

• Updates about Hi, Society! (especially when we launch new designs and products);
• Nifty tidbits about people, places, and things I run across in travels both local and far-flung;
• Tips to operate better in our [un]civilized society;
• and mentions about noteworthy design and fashion.

I’ll also write about the good things in life, like 5-star food and service (especially if it doesn’t carry a 5-star price tag).

I look forward to hearing from you about Social Tools and everything you find here.  Don’t be shy.  Be sociable.

Cheers -
Kendall